What you want vs. What you need.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life”: Steve Jobs

When asked what I value most in the world (loved ones aside) I always answer “my time”. My time is so valuable to me that I refuse to waste it. I refuse to sit through tv time if it brings nothing new to my life. I hate sitting in traffic to get somewhere, I’m not someone who can listen to an audio book and concentrate on driving – I am sure the local population would appreciate this acknowledgement of my lack of skills. I don’t like people arriving late – because they have put zero value on my time.

I have learnt to schedule my day into segments and I will always devote some time to just learning about something. It may be relevant to a client, or to a skill I am trying to improve. This time is valuable to me.

Personal Training is similar : my clients will often tell me what they do and don’t want. But I know what they need to achieve this. What follows is a collaboration and success in goal achievement, and a really great experience along the way for me and for them.

Steve Jobs was right, when he gave the world this quote; he didn’t realise he had not beaten his cancer, our time is indeed limited. Is someone wasting your time? Is there something you are not giving time to that you really want to? Is there a passion bubbling under the surface that needs to be given time to grow? … Make time.

I am making time in areas of life that give me pleasure and keep me happy : my relationship with my partner; my grown up children; self-development; new skills; business and career planning; bodybuilding; writing and photography. I have recognised what I want in life and what I need to get there. And because of this revelation nothing recently has been a waste of my time and it feels simply awesome.

What do you see?

Yesterdays view from the passenger seat

What do you see? The menacing dark clouds or the beauty of the sun rays tearing through? Or do you see the weeds at the bottom that despite their low position reach tall and grow despite the adversity of not being wanted nor beautiful, reach high and proud to bathe in the sunlight and warmth?

How we view what we each encounter has an enormous impact on what we see. My own recent therapy sessions have made me take stock of all the negative events in my whole life, not one event, but many, many that could have defined me, if I let them. It is quite a revelation to realise that we rarely define ourselves by our own achievement or success story. I am not saying that at the time each hasn’t challenged me and broken me to a certain extent. But not for too long.

What is too long? Too long is when people start avoiding speaking to you and prefer to text, because you literally bring them down, you drain them. When you no longer see anything in a positive way at all. Where life really is just dealing you lemons; one after the other. I think we all get to this point sometimes, hopefully not too-often-times. It is then that we need help or to make a serious change in our lives: ours way is not working, so it is time to stop doing it our way and try a different way. Help is not an embarrassment or admitting failure or despair. It is just saying ‘I didn’t expect this and I don’t have the tools or strength to deal with it alone’.

Counselling through the doctor takes so long but it is worth getting on the waiting list and in the meantime self help: read recommended books by people in your situations – you will never be unique in your situation. Someone on the internet will have written / blogged about it at some time. Samaritans are listeners. No judgement. People that want to listen so that you may be able to cope a little better, one step at a time.

Exercise is exhausting, especially when getting out of bed is overwhelming but get outside, close those sad and heavy eyes and just simply b-r-e-a-t-h-e. Nature has been around hundreds, thousands, of years and seen and heard many events, secrets and lies. Let nature caress your soul and look after you. Cold or hot, sunny or rainy, it is living and a constant.

One step at a time. We all need to move forward. In this photo I saw the beautiful sunrays and I smiled because nature does that for me. I bloody love this planet and this humanity I was lucky enough to be born into. Today I see its beauty and therefore today will be a good day.